Dear Remus
by Keikokin
Summary: A series of letters from Harry to Remus, followed by a flurry of correspondence reveals the secrets of Hogwarts. This was my first venture into humor, written while I was on pain pills. COMPLETE SLASH malemale relationship


Dear Remus by Keikokin  
-----------------------

Dear Remus,

Look, I know we both miss Sirius. I wondered if we could just start to write back and forth. It would be so nice to have someone to talk to again. Things are kind of weird here.

Harry  
-------------------------------------------------  
Dear Harry.

Yes, I do miss Sirius terribly, too. I think it would do us both good to have someone to talk too. So what do you mean things are weird there?

Remus  
----------------------------------------------------

Remus,

Cool. Ok, it is just that Malfoy hasn't fought with me all year yet. It is just too weird. He just looks at me in a funny kind of way, but no insults, barbs, snide comments. Maybe this is some imposter on PolyJuice Potion? Where are you anyway?

Harry  
------------------------------------------------

Harry,

I'm in Paris, and we will soon be leaving for the South of France. Things are going much better for me now. Maybe you can come visit over your break? Perhaps Malfoy wasn't the one who hated you. Lucius could have been directing his son to torment you and try to break you for the Dark Lord. But just in case, start checking the broom cupboards for the real Draco Malfoy. By the way, full moon next week, don't expect a quick reply, as we will be gone for the duration.

Remus  
------------------------------------------------  
Remus,

We? Who is the other half of this we? Is there something I should know? I've checked all the broom cupboards and have been slapped by many half naked girls snogging with their boyfriends. One of the surprise couples was Hermione with Luna. I got slapped twice there, thanks so much for the idea. Madame Pomfrey now things I am a big pervert who gets their jollies from interrupting snogging couples. By the way, the Imposter Malfoy has given PolyJuice potion to his Slytherin goons. Today a whole herd of them walked by me and smiled. Oh, creepy that was. I kept waiting for their heads to spin.

Harry  
------------------------------------------------  
Harry,

I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I have moved on and have a new love in my life now. Luc and I are very happy. He has a vineyard in the South of France, and he had invited me to move in with him. The grounds are enormous so it doesn't matter when we change into werewolves. We just give the staff the week off. It is lovely.

Sorry the whole cupboard idea didn't work out. Maybe you could ask Ron if he has noticed anything at all. Best to stay away from Hermione for a bit though. You say more Slytherins are acting nicely towards you? Maybe they are plotting something. Remember Harry, constant vigilance. Oops, sorry just had an owl from Mad Eye. 

R  
-----------------------------  
Remus-

Um, Luc? He invited you to move in with him? Was there something between you and my Godfather too? No, wait; let's not go there quite yet. But I would love to come visit. Please talk to the man in charge. He's getting on my nerves.

Hermione exacted her revenge and set me up on a date, eww. She knows I hate going on dates. I have a disastrous streak of bad luck when it comes to women.

So, how is it batting for the other side? Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Malfoy congratulated me on our Quidditch game against Hufflepuff. We won soundly. What the hell is going on? I talked to Ron and he says I'm thick as a brick. I don't understand any of this.

H  
--------------------------------------------------  
Harry,

I talked with Dumbledore and you can come visit.

If you have such bad luck with women maybe you should bat for the other side. Don't knock it until you've tried it. It's great, really. You should definitely have a go.

Ron's right you are thick. And that's saying something coming from him. I think you should talk with Draco Malfoy. Start by calling him Draco, he might like that I think.

R  
------------------------------------------------------

Remus,

I'm glad I can come visit next month. I have loads of questions. I talked with, um, Draco. I am sure he is either possessed, under the Imperious Charm, taking PolyJuice or is part of an alien invasion. 

HE SMILED AT ME WHEN I CALLED HIM DRACO!

Who is this guy anyway? But he got all upset when I tried to talk to him about Quidditch and he stormed off. Why did he do that? By the way, when he smiled at me my chest got tight. Am I too young to have a heart attack? Did my Dad or Mum have a history of heart problems?

H

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Harry,

How do you make it through life without a seeing-eye dog? Get some contacts or have your eyes repaired. The next time you see Draco, get him to talk to you about his life. NO, you are not having a heart attack! Ever hear of having feelings for someone? Good grief!

R  
----------------------------------------  
Dear Draco,

Look I'm very sorry that my surrogate Godson is so thick. Please bear with him. He is just so innocent it is frightening. I think all those years in the cupboard is what did it. I'll do what I can here.

Remus Lupin

----------------------------------------------

Dear Remus,

Are you the one that had Harry get his eyes fixed? If so, THANK YOU. But, I am afraid he is so thick I shall never get him to understand my feelings. Any help you can give me would be gratefully appreciated.

Draco  
-------------------------------------------  
Dear Ron,

You are right. Harry is as thick as a brick. How long has Draco been coming on to him?

Remus Lupin  
---------------------------------------------

Dear Remus,

Um, like all year. It's getting a bit pathetic, really. Even I take pity on the git. I think he's going to give up soon. Does he know about Harry's um, other gifts? Maybe that will help him to wait. Well, Harry better hurry we graduate right after break!

Ron  
-------------------------------------------------

Dear Hermione,

You are truly conniving. I am so proud. But, nevertheless no more making Harry go out with girls. I am fairly confident he swings on my team now. As well, he seems to have someone trying to get his attention. But he is SO thick. Alas, alack!

Remus Lupin

-------------------------------------------------

Dear Remus,

I've checked the entire library, twice. It seems Harry is doomed to be this thick headed his entire life. I've seen the way Draco Malfoy looks at Harry. I never thought I'd feel sorry for Draco, but I do. Anything I can do to help just let me know.

Hermione   
---------------------------------------------------

Remus,

Well, I got my eyes fixed like you said. But when Draco saw me after they were done, he gaped at me, stuck a fist in his mouth and ran off. When I saw him later and tried to ask him how he was but all he did was stare at my eyes. I did notice his eyes are the coolest shade of gray. And then my chest started to hurt again. Are you sure this isn't serious? Or is this what you mean by having feelings?

Ron keeps rolling his eyes at me. Hermione giggles at me when I see her. Has the whole school gone mad?

Harry

------------------------------------------------------

Draco,

Would you like to come visit with Luc and I in France over spring break? Harry will be there. Oh yes, and did I mention the other reason you should keep trying? There's a very LARGE reason they call Harry the Golden Boy of Gryffindor. 

Remus

------------------------------------------

Remus,

Oh my god! Really? I am so there. Whew, is it hot in here? Wow. See you soon!

Thanks!  
Draco

BTW, do have any rope?  
-----------------------------------------------

Draco,

Luc and I will help you tie him down.

See you soon,  
Remus

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Thick Headed Harry,

You like Draco, and this Draco likes you. How stupid  
can you be? This is not what makes friends, for it is  
what makes love. Draco adores you. Your heart  
tightens at the sight of him because you adore him as  
well! Ask him to be with you, a part of you, for you  
care for him, deeply. Yes? Do it today, now. Do not  
hurt him any longer.

Luc

-----------------------------------------------------

Dear Luc,

Excuse me but I barely know you and you are calling me thick headed? How could you possibly know how Draco Malfoy feels about me? Or how I feel about Draco? I think I have a serious medical condition and I will be talking to our MediWitch about it. I don't know what Remus told you but I think you all have been drinking way too much wine! Hurt Malfoy? Me? Not bloody likely. I think you're mad.

Harry

-------------------------------------------------------------

TO: Mr. H. POTTER, Gryffindor  
FROM: M. Pomfrey  
SUBJECT: Heart Discomfort

In regards to our conversation and your following routine physical, you do not seem to have any heart problems. However, when Draco Malfoy entered the room, you spiked in body temperature. Oddly enough, he seemed flush as well. Perhaps you both have the flu?

MP  
---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

I'd appreciate it if you not talk to Luc in that manner. He was only trying to help and you are thick headed. You do so care about Malfoy and him about you. Try spending a day without him or even seeing him and see if you miss him.

Remus  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Dear Remus,

Today Malfoy winked at me. Later, he smiled at me. I think I liked it. What is wrong with me?

Harry

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Luc,

OK. So I'm sorry. I'd appreciate it if you and Remus didn't 'wolf out' on me next month okay? 

Harry  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Remus,

Um, so why is it I need to be without him a whole day? 

Harry

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

Do you have a problem with that Harry? Maybe I was right? Having wank off episodes with his face in your mind?

Remus  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Remus,

Right about what exactly? How did you know about me wanking off?

Harry

Dear Harry,

You are making my Remus crazy. You cannot spend a day without him because you are in love with him. That is why he is part of your fantasies. He is your fantasy, your inner most desire. You want Draco in your arms, kissing you and filling you with his love.

Luc

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Draco,

I realized today how much you mean to me. Would you  
please go out with me?

Harry

---------------------------------------------

Harry

YES PLEASE  
(You better get used to hearing that lover boy!)

Draco

----------------------------------------------  
Remus,

I can't believe it Harry asked me out today. OH my  
god! I can hardly wait for break. I might not need  
the rope after all! No, on second thought keep it  
handy.

YES!  
Draco  
----------------------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

You prat! You don't listen to me. OH no! But you  
listen to Luc! You are so much like your father. I  
forgot I could get this aggravated!

Remus  
-----------------------------------------------

Father,

I am gay, and I am dating Harry Potter. Deal.

Draco  
------------------------------------------------------

My Darling Son Draco,

Whatever did you write to your father? He's in St. Mungo's! He tore your letter to shreds. Then he grabbed your old teddy bear and began to suck his thumb!

Mother

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mother,

NOT TEDDY! BRING.THE.BEAR. Or the Press finds out I am gay! And I'll bring Harry home and shag on the front lawn! 

Draco

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Darling Draco, love of my life,

I've rescued Teddy. I gave your father a pillow; he'll never know the difference.

Malfoys never tell the press such things, my dear; my friends would see it. We don't want to lose our social status do we? Ha, ha the front lawn? You can't be serious? I mean, really, Draco. Such a spectacle would not befit your new title as Master of the Manor.

You couldn't possibly mean the Harry Potter, now could you? Not the same one that killed our Master? (whimper) What have you told him about me?

Your beloved, caring, Mother

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mother,

Leave Teddy in my room. Leave the keys under the mat. Leave the manor now, or Gay Wizard Weekly gets an exclusive with shots on the lawn. Maybe some cum shots on the Louis XIV divan? I'll invite the ladies of the club to tea, to watch. I've told the Harry Potter, my boyfriend, that you are the woman they use to describe 'bitch' in documentaries. He has a very tricky wand finger.

Draco

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My bastard son Draco,

You are just like your father. Evil, conniving, ruthless, it is a shame he is not here to see it. Well, it just so happens I was planning an extended vacation in the Greek Islands. I guess I'll leave now. Not that you are making me, certainly not! I never succumb to blackmail. Tell that sweet darling boyfriend of yours I said 'hi.'

Make sure to tell the press to forget it. Teddy is safe, as long as I keep my share of the family wealth. Mwahahaha!

Mommy Dearest

Draco,

I'm happy for you really, but can I kill him first?

Remus

------------------------------------------------------

Remus,

There won't be anything left to kill, by the time I'm  
done with him. Unless you really want a melted, mess of shivering post-orgasmic flesh to kill, after I lick him clean and suck him dry and shag him into next week? 

Draco

---------------------------------------------------------

Draco,

Too much information!

Remus

------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione,

Please go find Draco and hose him down. 

Remus

----------------------------------------------------------------

Remus,

I tried but it steamed off! It was hot! Whew!

Hermione

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Remus,

This morning Draco dragged me into a broom closet.  
OH.MY.GOD.

So um, can we come earlier?

Harry

------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco

Meet me under the bleachers at 5 pm. Don't wear  
boxers.

Harry

----------------------------------------------------------------

Harry

Yes, please! You better be going Commando too.

Draco

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco

Ok, make that 4 p.m.

Harry

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry

What ever you say lover boy. I am ready, willing and  
waiting for your command, whipped cream and rope at the ready, Master.

Draco

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco

Skive off last class. See you in 30 minutes. Gods, I  
love it when you are submissive.

Harry

Harry,

Yes, you can come early. But why do I have the  
feeling you already have? By the way, you are a prat. Have I mentioned this lately?

Remus

----------------------------------------

Remus,

Um, right, so, um, oh gods. Sorry, Draco is here. Um,  
so how early can we arrive? OH GODS. Draco stop that. Ok, don't. Stop. Don't. Stop. 

BYE!

H

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione

Get Ron to help you hose both Draco and Harry down.

Remus

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus,

No good, it just gave them an excuse to rip their  
clothes off. Um, so why am I a lesbian? Whew! I think Ron is getting ideas! There was such a crowd! Ron sold tickets!

Hermione

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco,

That was some show. Have any brothers? Single  
friends? By the way, thanks! I made a lot of money from the ticket sales. I think I'll start a sex toy shop. After all you guys need more rope right?

Ron  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Ron

Meet you at 5 in the Astronomy Tower. Let's put on  
our own show. Yes, you can sell tickets. I'll bring rope.

Blaise

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Snape,

Are you free tonight? I need your special services.

Hermione Granger  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miss Granger

If you want extra curricular studies, I will be at my  
room, waiting. My services are "largely" at your disposal.

S.S.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My tasty lion Master,

I may be a day late getting to France. Mother left the country, and Father went nuts when I told him about us. I will meet you shortly.

Your ever willing,   
Draco  
------------------------------------------------------------------------

My beautiful Draco,

Whimper. How can you do this to me? Can I come too?

Desperately in need,  
Harry  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sub Harry,

Oh, la, la. Whose turn is it to be submissive now  
lover boy? Don't forget the rope. See you in France. I will pick up my toys from the manor. Or we can get some from Weasley. Don't forget your collar, pet.

Your Master,  
Draco  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus & Luc

Thanks for all the help. Draco has to go to Malfoy Manor first. He said something about toys. And he gave me a collar to wear. Have you ever played this game? Is it fun? 

Harry

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Dear Harry,

Oh, you so deserve this! Have fun! Mwahahahah. Happy  
Un-virgin to you! Luc and I bought you this book, butt  
plug and shower attachment. There will be test! The  
collars and toys are covered in the book. I so refuse to even try to explain things to you.

Remus & Luc

P.S.  
Luc wants to take pictures of your face when you read  
the book.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Dear Harry,

I hope you made it to France safe and sound. Mum says  
'hi'. Fred and George stole some of my toys. I so  
don't even want to think about that! Your boyfriend,  
a.k.a Slytherin sex pot, put in a really big order for  
toys. Boy oh boy Harry, I hope you are taking your  
vitamins!

Ron

------------------------------------------------------

Draco,

YOU sure made Ron happy. He says you placed a big  
order for toys. France is beautiful. But I miss you  
so much. It's almost been a whole day!

Remus and Luc gave me a very interesting book to read.  
I started to read it on the way here. Unfortunately I  
was sitting next to a nun on the train! I've never  
heard so many Hail Mary's in my life! I started to  
say them too and I'm PAGAN!

So, I just want to know something.

ARE YOU MAD? 

Ron seemed very concerned for my health.

I THINK I KNOW WHY NOW!

A very nervous,

Harry

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco,

Luc took some great pictures of Harry reading that  
book we bought him. He went absolutely ashen when he  
found out what a butt plug is for. By the way when you  
get here we will show you where his is hiding.

Remus   
------------------------------------------------------------------

Ron, 

HELP ME!

Harry  
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

Neville says he has a cat-o-nine tails you can borrow.  
Will that be enough? 

Ron

-------------------------------------------------------------

Blaise,

Filch is gone for tonight, so we can use the chains in  
the basement.

Roaring and Ready,

Ron  
-------------------------------------------------------------

Miss Granger,

I believe your desire for participation in my  
extracurricular studies requires further prodding and  
examination on my part. I hope to have you cum in my  
quarters after I eat.   
S.S.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ron,

Are you kidding ? Our sweet little Neville is into this  
too?

Eek,

Harry

P.S.

How is Hermione? I never hear from her anymore. Did  
you two finally get together?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

Can you order some toys for us from Ronniekins? He  
won't let us buy anymore.

In love,

Fred & George, forever  
P.S.  
Ginny wants some too. Eww!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry you naughty boy,

Would you like to join Blaise and I in the dungeons  
with Master Neville when you return?

Ron

P.S.  
I haven't seen too much of Hermione lately. She seems to be working on extra credit projects with Professor Snape. I think she went on the straight team too! Um, no, couldn't be, not her and NO!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

I have some news to tell you. I will be staying on as Assistant Professor for Seveykins, after we graduate. 

Hermione

---------------------------------------

Dear Hermione,

Wow! Assistant Professor, that's great. But, um, who is 'Seveykins'? I asked Draco and he fell on the floor laughing. Oh-uh, he's getting up now and he has that look again. GULP. Oh Draco, please, I'm trying to write a letter. OH GODS! OH YES! PLEASE! 

BYE!

Harry  
-------------------------------------

Dear Harry,

Why Seveypoo, Sexy Sev! Sev the Sex God! He can stir my cauldron anytime. Oh, baby. I love his ingredients! Mmm, oh yeah baby!

Being Potions Mistress will be such fun. OH the Combinations!

Bubbling over -  
Hermione

-------------------------------------------

Dear Ron,

PLEASE TAKE HERMIONE TO ST. MUNGOS IMMEDIATELY! SHE'S SHAGGING SNAPE! ARGHHHH!

Weasley- Draco here ; Harry's fainted. Gods, he's cute! Love to talk but this would be an ideal time to tie him up.

Later, Much Later  
Draco 

-----------------------------------------

Dear Draco,

Harry tied up? Can you take pictures? PLEASE! I'll give you a cut! 50/50?

Man, you guys would not believe what we saw 'brewing' in the Potions Classroom! YUCK!

Ron

-------------------------------------------------

Ron,

NO! You can't have pictures! He's my pet! MINE! MINE! MINE!   
:WHIP:WHIP:  
Ohhh, Harry you liked that didn't you baby? MMMM. You are a naughty boy!

GRR  
Draco

--------------------------------------------------------

To MY PET RON

You shall not stray from me again! Come to my lair tonight for your punishment!

MASTER NEVILLE

PS  
Bring Blaise  
-----------------------------------

Dear Severus,

I heard from Harry, once we took the gag out of his mouth, that you are consorting with a student. Isn't that a bit risky? Aren't you considering your position?

Remus Lupin

---------------------------------------------

Dear Remus,

I'll pay you to keep the gag in Potter's mouth.

Trust me, I am considering ALL positions.

Severus Snape

-----------------------------------------------  
Dear Severus,

I'm sorry I asked! Eww. Straights! YUCK.

Um, so how much will you pay me to keep the gag in Harry's mouth? He can be annoying, all that screaming, moaning, pleading and begging. It gets quite tiresome really, but your Godson seems to enjoy it.

Remus Lupin

------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO

TO: Albus  
FROM: Minerva  
RE: Ticket sales

Last night I saw students lining up to see a show called "Master Neville's Flogging Circus." Should we be concerned Albus?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO

TO: Minerva  
FROM: Albus  
RE: Tickets sales

No need to be concerned dear lady. I already purchased MY tickets well in advance. I even have a season pass. Quite a show I must say.

Albus

----------------------------------

MEMO

TO: Albus  
FROM: Minerva  
RE: You dirty old goat!

I saw a playbill from the performance of "Master Neville's Flogging Circus." You dirty old goat! Those are students! 

MEMO

TO: Minerva  
FROM: Albus  
RE: Tickets sales

If you are so concerned about appearances transform into a cat. I am sure you don't want to miss the upcoming show of 'The Taming of Harry Potter."

MEMO

TO: Albus  
FROM: Minerva  
RE: Schedule

When is that show precisely?

Dear Ron,

I would like to place an order for the following items:

D clamps  
1000 ' rope  
Vibrating butt plug  
A leather gag  
A leather thong  
A leather loincloth  
A double-headed dildo  
Another set of handcuffs  
Another studded leather collar  
A nice SHORT leash- leather

I would like to make this all a matched set please.

Draco

Ron 

Why is everyone looking at me and snickering? I heard rumors of a show that Draco is putting on. What show? I am really upset. I asked him to take me out! Now he is going out and putting on a show? I wasn't even invited!

Harry

Dear Harry,

Don't worry mate. Draco will take you out REALLY soon! Mwhahahahaha! As for the show, I think Draco will 'fit you in' ! Hahahha.

Ron

PS. Stop wanking off in the shower! There was cum on the ceiling! Pretty tasty though. 

Dear Draco,

I appreciate that you have offered tickets to Luc and I at a discount, but why should we pay to see what you have been doing at the Vineyard all vacation!

By the way, how did you manage to get lubricant on the ceiling?

Remus & Luc

Hermione,

What is going on around here? There seems to be major ticket sales and now Draco has cut me off! He says I need to be ready and wanting for my big debut.

Please tell me that you are not the new Potions Mistress! Eww.

Harry

Dear Harry,

As thick as you are even if I told you, well, let's just say the sales are for a GOOD CAUSE. I know for a fact you will be a primary beneficiary of the event. You might even say you are a reason for us to all come.

Yes, I am the new Potions Mistress but how did you know Severus likes to be ridden? By the way, do you have any leather conditioner?

Mistress Hermione

Dear Hermione,

Look you are just confusing me! What is going on? What is the reason you will all come?

I had to read in my book to find out what you are talking about! ACK! Too much bloody information! I will never look at a horse the same way again! Get your own leather conditioner! Besides I think we are out.

:blush:. 

Harry

My darling beloved Master Draco,

PLEASE PLEASE tell me what is going on? My balls hurt! Mini-me hurts! Please let me take you again! Please! Ron is starting to look good! He even said I taste good. 

Your ever submissive Pet Harry

WEASEL!

PREPARE TO DIE!

PAINFULLY!

DRACO THE DRAGON OF SLYTHERIN

My Beloved Pet Harry,

IF I HEAR YOU MENTION THE WEASEL AGAIN YOU WILL NEVER GET LAID BY ME AGAIN!  
FOR PUNISHMENT YOU ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO WANK!

And never call that mini! Hot damn. I will make you come so hard when I take you again your eyeballs will hurt. Your time is coming according to 'schedule'.

Master Draco 

My beloved Master Draco,

:whimper: I love you. I was just wanking off to you and shot my load so hard it hit the ceiling and Ron tasted some that way.  
Did I mention I love you? Please take me NOW! Mr. BIG needs you!

Forever yours only,

Your Pet Harry

PS  
Please do not use the cat-o-nine tails on me::::whimper:

Weasel

PREPARE TO DIE!

The Dragon

Dear Blaise,

Has Draco ever killed anyone? 

Gulp  
Ron

Ron,

Oh hell yeah, loads of times. He's really bloody good at it too! I could never say 'Avada Kedavra' that fast. He seems to have a real gift. He won all the killing races at the Junior Death Eater Meetings.

Why?

Blaise

MEMO

TO: Albus  
FROM: Minerva  
RE: Ron Weasley

Ron Weasley will not come out of his dorm room. He mentioned something about 'Harry, the shower, and dead meat."

Do you have any idea what this means?

MEMO

TO: Minerva  
FROM: Albus  
RE: Ron Weasley and Harry's wanking

I ran the time back to see what happened. Mr. Weasley is dead meat. Please allow him to go home IMMEDIATELY. What a stupid git! By the way, I can repeat Harry's shower performance in my office. Can you come?

MEMO

TO: Albus

FROM: Minerva

RE: Repeat Performance

I will be there by lunchtime to see the shower performance by Harry. Can I come? Of course I can! The question is can you cum!

My dearest pet Harry,

Be down in the Dungeons tonight at 6 p.m. or you will never have sex again! Did I mention I am very good with knives? But if you are a good pet you will cum so much tonight we might as well put on a show.

Your Master Lion Tamer,

Draco the Dragon!

PS.

Have you seen the Weasel? We have some unfinished business!

My dearest Ginny,

Are you going to the show tonight? "The Taming of Harry Potter', oh I can hardly wait to cum!

Affectionately Yours,

Luna

My master Draco

Mr. Big thanks you! I will be there with bells on! Should I wear my collar and this crazy leather outfit the elves delivered today?

Your desperately loving,

Harry

PS.

I hear we are missing some big show tonight. Can we go out sometime?

My lion,

Yes, wear the outfit but skip the bells.

Your master Draco

Ps

DON"T BE LATE WE WILL BE PUTTING ON A SHOW ALL OUR OWN!

Dear Draco,

Here's a clipping for your scrapbook of reviews from Gay Wizarding World. Congratulations, will you be doing more shows? What time is Graduation?

Remus

THE TAMING OF HARRY POTTER

Last night a select lucky few were able to witness this dynamic display of sub/dom sex play. Never have I seen so many sex toys used successfully. An invisible wall was used for our humble sex symbol who appeared for his master Draco Malfoy. Mr. Potter was sporting a leather collar, loincloth and boots. Mr. Malfoy, was spectacular showing off his skills with double headed dildo's, butt-plugs and cat-o-nine tails, just to mention a few. The audience that was given a silk black mask to protect their identity were witnesses to what had to be the most multiple orgasms ever recorded, both on and off the stage. And let me tell you there is a reason why Harry Potter is called the Golden Boy of Gryffindor! If this show ever makes it to your area, go! You are sure to cum! I know I did! Repeatedly!

Dear Remus,

Harry and I received our diplomas last night. Dumbledore says we have had enough public appearances for a bit. I quite agree. It was weird but after hearing all those people telling me how hot Harry was and how they wanted to see him again. Well, I got jealous. There won't be anymore shows except behind closed doors at the Manor. Don't forget to come visit.

Subdued,

Draco

Dear Remus,

Draco asked me to move into the Manor with him. I think he has changed, almost overnight. He's even talking about bonding. What do I do?

Harry

Dear Harry ,

Luc & I hope that you both live happily, ever after!

Congratulations!


End file.
